At 8 p.m. on April 21, 2017, Naoto Fukuura, who had rushed out of the university that morning, finally arrived at the funeral home in Nagasaki City after traveling from Kyoto via bullet train and taxi.

The moment he entered the room, his mother, Saori, cried out, “Nao, I’m so sorry!”

Supporting his mother, Naoto approached the coffin. Seeing his brother lying there, he thought, “He looks like he’s asleep.”

“Why?”

“I’d get a headache that felt like a trauma every time I went to school”

While Naoto was heading to Nagasaki, his father Daisuke, mother Saori, Saori’s mother, and Saori’s sister—the four of them—heard the details from the police. Daisuke relayed that information to Naoto.

Hayato was found in a park about a 15-minute walk from his home.

Hongo-uchi Teibu Water Source Park is located within a residential neighborhood, at the end of a dead-end street. It features a small slide, swings, a horizontal bar, and an open field perfect for ball games and tag. It serves as a playground for the neighborhood children.

There’s a staircase leading up to a hilltop at the end of the park. Ninety-one steps. At the top, the open space holds no playground equipment, only overgrown weeds and a few trees. Hayato ended his life under the largest cherry tree among them.

The estimated time of death is said to be 11:00 p.m. on April 20, 2017.

Naoto had a gut feeling.

“Lately, Hayato’s been out at night…”

For about the past month, Hayato has occasionally gone out alone around sunset. He left the house without telling his family where he was going, leaving his smartphone behind, and then came back.

When Naoto was still living at home, he had cautioned Hayato before leaving for college. “Make sure you bring your phone with you because we won’t be able to contact you without it.” Two days prior to Hayato’s death, the identical incident occurred, and his mother had stressed, “At least make sure we can get in touch with you.”

“Was he searching for a place to end his life, and had he given up and come back…?” That was the only conclusion Naoto could reach.

Hayato passed away with his shoulder bag still on. Inside the bag was a sheet of copy paper. It was the suicide note Hayato had written. (Underlining as in the original.)

To the first person to discover this,

 

If you do find me, when you call the police, please ask them to come without sirens if possible, so the media doesn’t get wind of it. I don’t want to cause trouble for the people around me or my family; I want to keep things quiet and, if possible, pretend it never happened.

 

I’ve said this many times, but the fact that I ended up in this situation is entirely my own fault. It’s my own responsibility (self-loathing). That said, it’s hard to claim that something like that didn’t come from the people around me. Still, almost everything they did ended up contributing to my self-loathing.

 

Given my family’s social standing, I couldn’t afford to skip school, I had no one to confide in, and, to begin with, I lacked the ability to communicate. I’d get a headache that felt like a trauma every time I went to school. The person I used to be started to fall apart in my third year of junior high.

 

Right now is the hardest. I don’t get to talk to my friends as much as I used to; I’m afraid of being dissed, my breathing gets heavy and ragged, I feel tense, and my mouth is watering. My hands, feet, body, and head all shake violently against my will. When I get home, I sigh and talk to myself more often, and get headaches.

 

I want to go somewhere where no one is watching me.

The dream of creating a main character of a penguin at Disney

Naoto kept repeating, “Why?” over his brother’s death.

Because just four days before Hayato passed away, Naoto had made a promise with him.

Naoto found a penguin stuffed animal at a variety store while strolling through Kyoto. Hayato, who loved cute characters, had a particular weakness for penguin stuffed animals.

It all started with their first trip abroad. When Hayato was in fourth grade and Naoto was in sixth, the family went to Singapore. Hayato fell in love with a Wild Republic penguin stuffed animal they bought there and named it “Pen.” He carried it with him everywhere he went.

Seeing this, his father, Daisuke, brought back a Wild Republic penguin stuffed animal as a souvenir every time he traveled to Singapore on business. The three penguins had slightly different faces. While his mother, Saori, couldn’t really tell the difference, Hayato named them “Pen,” “Pentaro,” and “Penta,” doting on each one. When they came to Kyoto for Naoto’s university entrance ceremony, Hayato brought Penta along.

Working at Disney was Hayato’s dream job. Creating new characters and constructing rides were his dreams. There aren’t many penguin characters in Disney. They are merely supporting characters, even if they really exist. Hayato was working on his idea to create a penguin character deserving of a major part.

Naoto found a penguin stuffed animal at a variety store in Kyoto and bought it as a gift, thinking, “Hayato will love this.”

Naoto called Hayato on April 16th. When he mentioned the penguin stuffed animal, Hayato said, “Really? I’m so happy!”

“I won’t show it to you yet because it’d be a spoiler. I’ll be back for the next holiday, so look forward to it!”

After hanging up, Hayato must have been really happy because he sent Naoto a video.

It was a recording of his own voice dubbed onto his favorite stuffed animal at home.

This was his last exchange with his younger brother.

“I never thought I’d end up giving it to him like this”

At the funeral home, his mother cried the whole time.

Every time a relative arrived, she kept apologizing, saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She kept blaming herself, saying, “I was living with Hayato.” Naoto could only keep telling her, “It’s not your fault, Mom.”

They were staying at the funeral home that evening. Naoto, who had arrived wearing nothing but the clothes on his back, left his mother in the care of her relatives and decided to go back to his parents’ house with his father to grab a change of clothes.

The two of us in the car were worried about Saori.

“If things keep going like this, she might end up dying, following Hayato.”

“Let’s support her together.”

At home, along with a change of clothes, he packed Hayato’s favorite stuffed animals into his bag.

Three stuffed animals of penguine—Pen, Pentaro, and Penta—a Disney “Duffy,” a Pokémon “Naetle,” a local mascot, “Funassyi,” a Sanrio “Cinnamoroll” pillow, and an orangutan stuffed animal he bought in Bali.

Naoto felt that the atmosphere in the funeral hall softened a little when the stuffed animals were lined up there.

He put a few in his brother’s coffin as well. A “Cinnamoroll” pillow—the toy that first got him into stuffed animals—and “Duffy,” the bear who was his favorite Disney character.

And the brand-new penguin stuffed animal he was supposed to give to Hayato during the holiday.

“I never thought I’d end up giving it to him like this.”

To be continued.

(Originally published in Japanese on December 11, 2025. Translation by Mana Shibata.)

Adults in the Student Suicide Case ~School Edition~: All articles